First post for the year 2011

OK , I am back again , after being lazy for many days, to write anything at all. Though there has been many things to write on ,I  have just been too lazy to open the blog and write them all here. Have been convincing myself all these days that I am very busy and I don't have enough or any time for blogging.But that's an excuse as always :P

So what have I been doing all these days ? Well most important and memorable event has been my visit to Finland in peak winter. I say visit cos I was there for just a month , and what an experience it was! My first trip abroad,saw snow for the first time ,experienced temperatures of -25 and around , visited Dayanna in Sweden .. Wow! it all still seems like a dream.. :) . Hope I can visit Europe in summer sometime , and see the other face of it :)

And we celebrated our second wedding anniversary :) We had decided that we will plan a trip and were thinking about the place for the trip. Sandeep suggested that we spend time in Mysore and that was a wonderful idea .We stayed in our Mysore house , roamed in and around Mysore , went to JCE and spent some time there, had yummy churmuri near our house as we used to before.All this made so nostalgic .. I went back in time for 3 days :) On our anniversary , along with doddamma and doddappa , we went to Chamundi hills by climbing the stairs ,and then after climbing down had wonderful breakfast at Kamath :) .And then came back to Bangalore and had anniversary dinner at home with Parents and Yashu :) All in all , it has been wonderful 2 years of wedding bliss for us , and had a great anniversary as well :)

One more highlight to begin the year has been the Mangalore trip with friends.Last year Div shifted to Mangalore , and this Jan Ananya arrived :) So we all went there to introduce ourselves and welcome the new member of TFTs :D Had awesome time with Div , also had a great trip to Sringeri,Horandu,Kudremukha,Udupi and Surathkal beach.Hope to plan and execute more trips this year ;)

So this has been the story so far this year ;) . As of now , just busy with work and home work :D Hope the forthcoming days will be more eventful and full of fun and happiness :) Since I am out of my writing block now , hope I will come up with more posts here :) .

Tagged - Not so crappy Questionnaire :D

I have been tagged by Pavan.  I further tag these people : Yashu , Deepu , Sadhana ,Ashu and Raju :) . So here I go :

What, in your opinion, are the 5 most over-rated things in recent times?

1. Land/site value in Bangalore - literally over-rated :P
2. IT profession
3. common wealth games , IPL
4. Kareena and she being zero size :D (well , thought that I should add something about bollywood , which in itself is over-rated :P)
5. cosmetics(especially these fairness creams) : feel real irritated when I see these fairness cream ads :P

What 3 wishes would you ask if you stumble across a genie on the way to work? (You can only ask for material things. No unrealistic things like perfect wife/husband, world peace etc. No loopholes such as more wishes,more genies etc. No asking money :P)

1. A bath machine , just step in and step out of it (like the machines at security checks ;)) and you emerge clean  :D Yes , I feel very lazy to take bath (BUT I do , daily :D) .
2. easily foldable Pushpaka vimaana - would make daily life much easier in Bangalore :P :D
3. finance and leave approval for my world tour :D
   

What is the one singular deed would you like to do if you were given a chance to go back in time? (apart from Killing Hitler and (guys)one night with Helen of Troy,Cleopatra and all other hot chicks of the past)

1. I would like to see Hampi when it was in all its grandeur :)
2. I would also like to go back ,just a few years back , to see my mom holding, just born me ,in her hands for the first time :))

Tell us 3 things you wish you knew when you turned 18.

1. Having pimples is not at all a thing to be worried about and I wouldn't  be giving a damn about it now (when I am 26), I really wish I had known this then , wasted too much time and energy on this :P
2. I need not be nice to people all the time , even to those who were not being nice to me sometimes.
3. I wish I knew that ,i t doesn't matter too much as to what people think about me or my life.

What are the 3 geekiest things about you?

    1.I don't think too much about my appearance , or rather don't work on it much any time before stepping out. I feel really uncomfortable when I am dressed up with jewelery,any kind of cosmetics,etc  , when I do use all that during some rare occasions .
    2.Most of the times , I would prefer reading a book as a pastime rather than watching a movie /shopping.Of course , I don't deny that I enjoy shopping too , to some extent :D
    3.But all in all , I declare that I am not much of a geek , so no more points to add here :P :D
 
Tell us 3 things that make you go “Awwww”

    1.a baby smiling oh  so sweetly and cutely in its sleep :)
    2.photos of my childhood , photos of trips , any photos of my past :)
    3.Whenever I read calvin and hobbes :)

What are the kinds of people you are biased against,possibly unreasonably:

1. people who think that , what they think and how they live ,is  always right and everyone else should follow the same :P
2. Men who talk about girls as if they are some things for display in a exhibition :P I know the excuse that guys give - " That's how guys are " :P
3. people who are too emotional and sentimental in every aspect of life , and are never realistic .

What is that one lie that you absolutely intend to tell your kids?
I wouldn't risk writing it up here :P , of course my kids would be reading my blog :D

What 3 words would a wife say if she is all ready to blast her husband for not remembering their anniversary , and just in nick of time he wishes  (Those tagged can change this question. Answer will remain)
A.J.M (Akkan Just miss)

Which fictional characters do you identify most with?

1. Hobbes
2. Watson :D

The guy sitting on the other side of the bus is giving you the looks. What do you do?

Just ignore him.

Any FFFFUUUUUUU moment happened to you recently?

slippery roads in Finland , making me walk awkwardly all the time :P

What song is playing in your head RIGHT NOW?
Orey manva tu to bavra hai
Tu hi jaane tu kya sochta hai
Tu hi jaane tu kya sochta hai bavre
Kyun dikhaye sapne tu sote jaagte ...

Indian women and marriage

As usual I was just browsing some blogs , and I came across quite a few of them on the state of Indian women today.

As I am reading them , I have confusing thoughts myself . Do I have the same feelings as they have and do I think in the same direction? So here is this post to sort out my thoughts and feelings in this aspect.I have put few questions to myself and tried to answer those .

But most of my thoughts are based on what is happening around me and not with me , and so I might not be fully right in my views. My opinion is that you can only know the truth and what exactly is one going through , the causes for such a situation ,etc only when YOU have gone through it. Everything else is just an opinion(sometimes biased) and perspective of a person viewing the whole situation from outside.

Here we go :

1.Is feminism one of the main reasons for an increase in divorces?
   - No. In past ( and in present ) too there were lot of marriages which went wrong , but due to many reasons( mostly due to fear of reactions from society ) , the couple adjusted and compromised even though they were not happy with the marriage and lived like unhappy strangers in the same house. I would say though not legally separated , this was a case of divorce too. So it is a good thing that two persons who have decided that they cannot live together get separated and take their own paths.BUT the relationship should be given enough time and chance before it is ended.

2.Regarding marriage being thrust upon a girl
   Yes , this is a big problem. I have experienced this myself and I also see people around me going through this.I would say that getting married is a person's own choice and others have no role to play here and all their opinions,suggestions and advice are unasked for and not welcome ( I think this is something I myself should follow too , and have not done so few times in past ) .And it is high time that parents start realizing that girls should be given enough time and independence for settling down with a life partner. They are mature enough to take care of themselves and can plan their life.But yes , I would say , marriage is a good thing to get into.It is not just responsibility and commitments but also a relationship where in you have someone always with you to support you emotionally and with whom you can share your happiness and sorrows :).

3.Is marriage a barrier for an woman in her career/studies/any other aspirations?
   No.Not at all.Yes I agree that once married we will have some responsibility towards the family and before taking any decision, we might have to consider a few more aspects ( which we need not if we are single ) , but if our goals are clear and we have a strong will to achieve them and have proper plans in place,marriage is not at all a barrier for achieving any of our dreams.

4.And finally , do I hate being an Indian woman?
   No , I do not hate it as such. But yes , sadly it is true that the state of women in India is far worse than most of the countries.I am not really sure how happy women are in other countries.If I have to speak for myself , I am happy here in India having a loving family supporting me ,studying what I was interested in and also working in an area of my interest.But , yes , it is not the same in all cases , and I have seen lot of women struggling with their day to day lives so much so that after sometime they even forget that they had some ambitions and aspirations for themselves.So to this , I would say , yes it is difficult being an Indian woman, but I for myself, do not hate it.

Below are the blogs about which I was talking about :

http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2010/10/22/feminism-has-gone-to-womens-head-divorce-has-become-like-selling-onions/
http://nirjharani.blogspot.com/2010/10/yes-i-am-single-so.html
http://heyithinkthisway.wordpress.com/2010/07/27/i-hate-being-an-indian-woman/

ಗೃಹಭಂಗ - ಎಸ್.ಎಲ್.ಭೈರಪ್ಪ

ಕೆಲವು ದಿನಗಳ ಹಿಂದಷ್ಟೇ ಈ ಪುಸ್ತಕವನ್ನು ಓದಿ ಮುಗಿಸಿದೆ.ಇದರ ಕಥೆ,ನಿರೂಪಣೆ,ಪಾತ್ರಗಳು ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಬಹಳ ಹಿಡಿಸಿತು.ಮತ್ತೊಮ್ಮೆ ಓದಬೇಕೆನಿಸಿ,ಪುನಃ ಓದುತಿದ್ದೇನೆ :) . ಹಾಗೆ ಇದರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಇಲ್ಲಿಯೂ ಕೂಡ ಬರೆಯಬೇಕೆನಿಸಿತು.ಇದು ಧಾರಾವಾಹಿಯಾಗಿ ಬರುತ್ತಿತು ಕೂಡ.ಆದರೆ ನಾನು ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲ.

ಈ ಕಥೆ ಶುರುವಿನಲ್ಲಿ , ಶಿವಮೊಗ್ಗದ ಹತ್ತಿರ ಒಂದು ಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇರುವ ವಿಧವೆ ಗಂಗಮ್ಮ ಹಾಗು ಅವಳ ಇಬ್ಬರು ಗಂಡು ಮಕ್ಕಳ ಪರಿಚಯವಾಗುತ್ತದೆ.ಗಂಗಮ್ಮ ವಾಚಾಳಿ , ಒರಟು ಹೆಂಗಸು.ಬಾಯಿ ಬಿಟ್ಟರೆ ಕೆಟ್ಟ ಮಾತುಗಳೇ.ಮಕ್ಕಳೂ ತಾಯಿಯಂತೆ ಸ್ವಭಾವ.ಯಾರು ಹೇಗಾದರೂ ಕಷ್ಟ ಪಡಲಿ,ತಮಗೆ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಊಟ,ಕಣ್ತುಂಬ ನಿದ್ದೆಯಾದರೆ ಆಯಿತು.ತಂದೆ ಸಾಕಷ್ಟು ಆಸ್ತಿ ಮಾಡಿಟ್ಟಿರುವುದರಿಂದ ಜೀವನಕ್ಕೆ ತೊಂದರೆ ಏನಿಲ್ಲ.

ಇಂತಹ ಕುಟುಂಬಕ್ಕೆ ಹಿರಿಯ ಸೊಸೆಯಾಗಿ ಬರುವಳು ನಂಜಮ್ಮ.ಏತಕ್ಕೂ ಪ್ರಯೋಜನವಿಲ್ಲದ ಗಂಡನ ಶ್ಯಾನುಬೋಗಿಕೆಯನ್ನು ಸಹ ತಾನೇ ನಿಭಾಯಿಸಿ ಹೇಗೋ ಸಂಸಾರ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾಳೆ.ತನ್ನ ಗಂಡ ಅತ್ತೆ ಹಾಗು ಮೈದುನರ ದಡ್ಡತನ ಹಾಗು ಸೋಂಬೇರಿತನದಿಂದಾಗಿ ಇದ್ದ ಆಸ್ತಿಯೆಲ್ಲವು ಕಳೆದುಹೋದರೂ ಸಹ ಹೇಗೋ ಕಷ್ಟ ಹಾಗು ಬುದ್ಧಿವಂತಿಕೆಯಿಂದ ಜೀವನ ನಡೆಸುತ್ತಿರುತ್ತಾಳೆ. ಹೀಗೆ ಈ ಕಥೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ,ಒಂದು ಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ದಿನದಿನದ ಊಟಕ್ಕೂ ಸಹ ಪಡಬೇಕಾದ ಕಷ್ಟ , ಗಂಡ ಹೇಗೆ ಇದ್ದರು ಹೊಂದಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲೇಬೇಕಾದ ಪರಿಸ್ತಿತಿ , ಮಕ್ಕಳನ್ನು ಓಧಿಸಲು ಪಡಬೇಕಾದ ಪಾಡು,  ಮನಸನ್ನು ತಟ್ಟುವಂತೆ ಮೂಡಿಬರುತ್ತವೆ.

ಈ ಎಲ್ಲ ಕಷ್ಟಗಳ ಮಧ್ಯೆ , ನಂಜಮ್ಮನ ಮಕ್ಕಳಿಗೆ ಪ್ಲೇಗು ರೋಗ ತಗುಲಿ ಮೂರರಲ್ಲಿ ಎರಡು ಮಕ್ಕಳನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾಳೆ.ನಂತರ ತಾನೇ ಈ ರೋಗಕ್ಕೆ ಬಲಿಯಾಗುತ್ತಾಳೆ.ಇದಿಷ್ಟು ಕಥೆಯ ಬಹಳ ಚಿಕ್ಕ ಸಾರಾಂಶ.ಇದರಲ್ಲಿ ಬರುವ ಎಲ್ಲ ಪಾತ್ರಗಳು ಬಹಳ ನೈಜವಾಗಿವೆ.ಕಥೆಯ ಯಾವುದೇ ವಿವರಣೆ ಬರಿಯ ಕಥೆ ಅನಿಸದೆ , ಯಾವುದೇ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆಯಬಹುದಾದ ಘಟನೆಗಳೇ ಆಗಿವೆ.

ಹೀಗೆ ಓದುತ್ತಿರಬೇಕಾದರೆ ಮನಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ವಿಚಾರ ಬಂದಿತು.ಒಂದು ವೇಳೆ ನಾನು ನಂಜಮ್ಮನ ಜಾಗದಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದಿದರೆ ಏನು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದೆ ಎಂದು.ತಕ್ಷಣ ಅನಿಸಿದ್ದು "ಇಂತಹ ಕೆಟ್ಟ ಗಂಡನ ಜೊತೆ ಕಂಡಿತ ನಾನು ಇರುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅವನನ್ನು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ನನ್ನ ಜೀವನ ನಾನು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ".ಆದರೆ ನನಗೆ ಇದು ಸುಲಭವೆನಿಸಬಹುದು.ಆದರೆ ಆರ್ಥಿಕವಾಗಿ ಸ್ವಾವಲಂಭಿಯಿಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೆ  ಈ ನಿಟ್ಟಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಯೋಚಿಸುವುದೂ ಕಷ್ಟವೇ.ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ ಸ್ತ್ರೀ ಶಿಕ್ಷಣ ಅಷ್ಟೊಂದು ಮಹತ್ವ ಪಡೆಯುವುದು.

ಈ ಕಥೆಯ ಕೊನೆಯ ದೃಶ್ಯ ಮನತಟ್ಟುವಂತಿದೆ.ನಂಜಮ್ಮನ ಕೊನೆಯ ಮಗನನ್ನು ಯಾರೂ ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿಯಿಂದ ಸಾಕುವವರು ಇಲ್ಲದೆ, ಊರಿನ ದಾಸಯ್ಯನವರು ತಮ್ಮೊಡನೆ ಕರೆದೊಯ್ಯುತಾರೆ .ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ತಾಂಬೂಲ ಅಗಿಯುತ್ತ ಮರದಡಿ ಮಲಗಿದ್ದ ನಂಜಮ್ಮನ ಗಂಡ, ತನ್ನ ಮಗನನ್ನು ಯಾರೋ ಕರೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗುತ್ತಿರುವುದನ್ನು ಕಂಡೂ ಸಹ,ಬಾಯಲ್ಲಿರುವ ತಾಂಬೂಲವನ್ನು ಉಗಿದರೆ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ದಂಡ ಅನಿಸಿ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಮಲಗುವನು.ಇದು ನಂಜಮ್ಮ ತನ್ನ ಜೀವನವಿಡಿ ಪಟ್ಟ ಪಾಡಿಗೆ ಕನ್ನಡಿ ಹಿಡಿಯುವಂತ ದೃಶ್ಯವಾಗಿದೆ.

Thoughts for the day

Its time to pour down my thoughts here again :) So here I go :

• Div shifted to Mangalore , but it still hasn't gone into my head that she is not in Bangalore. I guess the fact will start to show its effect once we have our group meets anytime soon .. :-|
• We (friends) had planned for Kerala trip this weekend. All was set ( bus,train booked hotel booked ) but it got canceled or rather we have postponed it. Major disappointment to everyone involved :( But ,its ok. We will plan and have the trip soon  :)
• I was wondering few days back as to how life changes in just a span of an year or so. First 2 years in SASKEN ,we were so carefree , had lots of fun :) And then in the next year ,one by one ,each of us started changing jobs. And within another year , all girls in the group got married. And another year passes,and each of us ( almost ) are in different places now.But ,we are still great friends and our friendship has just become stronger in these years :)
• TV shows I am watching these days : India's got talent , few episodes of Sasural genda phool .I felt that the latter one is an exception to the kind of serials which I was talking about here.It shows a joint family with all members supporting each other , and having fun and good times in their day to day life.
• Have made a todo list for myself . Putting it here so that I can update again next week as to how much I have followed it :P . List looks like this :

            1.Get up at 6
            2.1/2 an hour walk+Yoga
            3.No to coffee
            4. No to junk food
            5.Sleep by 9 45 in the night.

     Well , not that difficult things to do. But just have to pull myself up and start following atleast these things properly.Lets see what will be the status of these by next Sunday. Will come and update here ;)

• Got some new clothes for the trip , now I have wear them to office :P Or shall keep them till the next trip.. No , I'll buy more for the next one :D

I am signing off here :) Hope the forthcoming week has some brighter things in store for all of us :) 

How did/do you know that he is the one?

This is a question to all married ladies out there ;) I am only talking about arranged marriage here , since the process and thoughts might be totally different in case of a love marriage.

So, when a girl meets a guy , how does she know  whether he is the right person or not? During my pre-marriage days , I was discussing this with Pavan , and we had concluded that when we meet the right person , a bell will ring inside our head/heart ( we were kind of confused as to where exactly it will ring :D) .

So did the bells ring for me when I met Deepu? At least for me , they partially rang even before I met him ;) .I was impressed with the fact that he wanted to speak to me on phone before coming to my place or meeting my parents.And I was double impressed when he said on phone that he wanted to meet me so that we could exchange our thoughts , before he or his parents would come to my place.I really liked that he was not adhering to this stupid process of coming to a girl's place with parents to "see" the girl , where neither the girl nor the guy would get enough time and space to speak to each other.

And when I met him , we got enough time to speak about our expectations and we were comfortable in each other's company.May be it was also pretty comfortable because our parents were not around ;) .

So that was the case with me.But was I sure of of my choice once I said yes? Hm , well up to an extent yes.But , there was this fear that something might go wrong and I might not have made the right decision.I guess all girls will have a little fear in this phase :) .But , after an year and more of married life , I can happily say that I made the right decision :)

But is it as easy as that in all cases? What is the right formula for choosing the right guy? I really do not know even now. Some people prepare a set of questions to ask the guy when they meet him.My ex-roommate had forwarded one such set to me long back. Though I didn't use them when I met Deepu , I did ask him all those questions later :D

General questions

• Are you ready for marriage?
• How would you describe yourself? How do you like to spend your free time?
• How do you feel about smoking and/or drinking?
• What are you looking for in a spouse?
• How much time do you need to decide?
• What are your preferences, in terms of food?
• What are your pet peeves?
• How do you act when you get upset?
• How do you feel about pets?
• What is your family like?

 Professional queries

• What career path do you plan on taking?
• How ambitious are you?
• How much time do you spend at work?
• How do you plan to balance work and family life?

 General questions that could be asked once you get familiar:

• What are your likes and dislikes?
• How do you act when you get upset?
• How often will we visit our extended family (if staying apart from them)?
• Do you believe in sharing housework?

Appropriate questions on the profession front:

• What are your future career plans?
• How much time do you spend at work?
• Are you looking for a working wife, housewife, or is it immaterial to you?
• What would we do in the situation that I get transferred?

 :D Such a big list right? I am not sure if this would help , but it will surely help you know a little more about the person :)

Well , if any of you know more about the right formula for this , do let it know in your comments :D And I wish all the best ( and some luck too ? ;) ) to all those girls who are in this confusing phase of life :)

Death - the ultimate truth?

I was randomly reading some blogs this Saturday evening and came across this blog :
http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/. Reading first few posts , I realized that a very sad thing has happened in the life of the author - her 19 year old daughter's death due to Dengue. I was just trying to imagine what this mother must be going through and felt really sad :( Hope god gives her and her family enough strength to cope up with this .. Easier said than facing the real situation.

 And then , in the same blog , I found the link to to her daughter's blog : http://blabberblah.wordpress.com/ . Just went through some of her posts , and my sadness just increased.She was a girl so much full of life. I could not and cannot associate death with such a girl .. Such maturity ,confidence and such a beautiful smile. I just felt that I should have met her and known her when she was alive.Hope I had seen her blog when she was alive , and had exchanged few words with her.

Have been thinking of the same girl from the time I visited her blog. Just not able to take her out of my mind.Why should life be so unfair that a girl who had so many ambitions and who wanted to live her life to full extent had to face death all of a sudden? What is the meaning of all this? Finding no answer to these questions about the mystery called death..

From the posts I see that the Indian home maker is strongly trying to move ahead and overcome her grief. I really appreciate this effort of hers and all my heartfelt wishes with her.